My Breasts

Losing weight has opened new doors for me. Although I am happy about that, there is still a part of me that feels insecure. I fear that I will never be completely happy in my own skin. I don’t know exactly why but when I think about it I believe this insecurity stems from being unhappy about different parts of my body. I remember one time being with my one of my sisters in our early teens talking about our boobs. She was pointing out how she wore a bigger bra size than me or needed a bigger bra and I was arguing with her that it wasn’t true- that mine were bigger. Needless to say, I’ve always felt uncomfortable being smaller-breasted than my sisters. It’s fairly obvious and sometimes family doesn’t fail to remind me of it, but being who I am I play it off and pretend being okay with it. I’m truly not OK with it that for a long time I contemplated getting some fake ones; I even told my sisters about it. I don’t believe I will since I’m paranoid about needles and any pain associated with voluntary decisions. My friends tell me that I am fine the way I look and that I shouldn’t let that bother me, but it does. I try clothes on and I swear I would look better if I can fill the top part. It’s frustrating not being happy with what I see in the mirror. I think that maybe if I am thinner my small breasts won’t be as prominent and will go better with my smaller body. Here is to hoping.

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